so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
