I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
