She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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