I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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