JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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