he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
