i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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