my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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