He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
