All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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