I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
