i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my phone needs a breathalizer
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
