is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
