Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
