The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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