You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
