I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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