I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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