she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
last night I used snow as a chaser
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
