"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
