You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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