My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
