problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
