I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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