We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
