so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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