He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
