So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
