can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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