apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
