you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
