i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
