YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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