peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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