Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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