yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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