some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
