Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just had sex on a roof
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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