Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
