Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
