Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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