Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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