I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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