I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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