she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
