Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
