can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
