my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
