White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
