Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
